Dawn
by heavenly-vixen
Summary: As Kate returns to the camp after attempting to 'rescue' Jack, she must take care of some unfinished business. SKATE!


Title: Dawn

Rating: T

Ship: Skate

Disclaimer: Yeah right, I wish, the money i'd have.

Summary: As Kate returns to the camp after attempting to 'rescue' Jack, she must take care of some unfinished business.

Author's Note: I resisted for 2 and a half years... but i've finally been seduced into the world of Lost. Well, more to the point, the world of Skate. As the episode "I Do" aired and I tuned in for only the second time throughout the entire life of Lost, I was drawn into the Sawyer Saga and subsequently the world of Skate. Now, I'm an addict. I hope you enjoy my very first Skate fic.

She stood off in the shadows, hidden by the familiar trees and bushes, and watched. She was waiting, waiting for the last of their makeshift little family to succomb to sleep. She needed to talk to him and she couldn't do it with prying eyes. She needed the cover of darkness to infiltrate the camp and his tent. She needed him alone.

Her mind swirled with an abudance of thoughts as she swept her eyes over the camp. Claire and Charlie sleeping soundly, the little murmours of baby Aaron bringing a smile to her face. Jin and Sun, curled up together, fast asleep. And Hurley, propped up in a strange position, obviously having fallen asleep in front of the now dwindling fire. But as her eyes took in all these sights, these familiar and welcoming sights, there was only one thing on her mind. One person.

She should have known. It was the only thing she could think about. She should have known.

She loved him, she knew that. That had never been a lie. She loved Jack too. But what she'd mistaken for romance, was mere friendship and admiration. She loved the person he was. She loved the redemption she'd mistakenly believed he could offer. But she wasn't in love with the man.

She should have known he would pull away. She should have known, just as he knew 'I don't know' meant 'I love you'. It was his 'I don't know', the only thing he knew to do when he felt so much, too much to deal. She ran, and he conned. It was what they did. He conned her into running away. And she fell for it, because it was what she did. It was who she was. He knew that, and he loved her, all of her.

Light started to slowly ebb its way into the darkness. It would be dawn soon and everyone would start to wake. She had to make her move. She still had no idea what she was going to say to him. She was angry, sorry, relieved and so many more emotions, too many to name. She felt so much that she didn't know where to begin. But she couldn't even start while hiding in the bushes like a coward. She had to move. So with a stealth greater than anyone knew she possessed, she made her way across the cool sand, long since lost its warmth to the night, and across to his tent.

The rising sun cast a slither of light against the water and allowed her to see through the darkness. She stood outside his tent, just staring at the flap that seperated him from her. Fear rose in the back of her throat and her heart began to beat fast. There was no turning back now.

She made her way inside to the sound of his steady breathing. He was lying on his side, facing the water. Kate bent down behind him and stretched out her legs, to lay propped up on her arm beside him. She couldn't help but take in his scent. She'd forgotten what such close proximity to him could do to her. What he could make her feel. It only served to make her feel even more stupid for leaving. Especially the way she did.

She reached out a trembling hand to touch his bare shoulder and the warmth that met her fingertips caused a shiver to emanate through her body. He'd always been so warm.

"James." Her voice was barely above a whisper, not nearly loud enough to wake him, so the sound of his voice made her jump and pull her hand back abruptly.

"I'm awake. Have been since you sauntered in here freckles. Taking my advice and finding a nicer way to wake a man up?" He drawled without turning to face her. He heard her sigh though. She saw right through him. Funny how he'd expected as much.

"James. Look at me." It wasn't a request and he was tempted to taunt her further but he needed this just as much as she apparently did. So he acquiesced and turned to face her. He had to smirk when she gasped, her eyes searching his bare chest. "What do you want freckles?" His voice was low and soft, yet there was no hint of the sarcasm that usually tinged his smooth southern drawl.

"To talk to you."

"About what?"

"You know what about."

"Fine then, say what you have to say."

"I'm sorry... And i'm angry."

"Well then freckles, I think you're going to need to ellaborate on that one for me. What on earth are you pissed about woman?"

"I'm _pissed_ that you tried to push me away. I'm angry at myself for not realising why, and allowing you to do it... " She didn't get to finish, Sawyer cut her off. She'd known this was going to be heated, but she'd hoped the conversation would stay civil for a little longer at least.

"Oh really. Cause you know me so well, you know exactly what's going through my head." He spat at her in a tone she knew all too well. It always appeared when she got too close, when she hit to close to the bone. It always made her smile slightly internally that she was able to read him so well, but the rest of her would jump at the biting words and wish her heart would allow her to follow the easier option.

"Yes James. You're not as complex as you'd like to think. At least, not to me." She kept her tone gentle, her voice soft, in an attempt to reign in the situation.

"Enlighten me sweet cheeks." He grit his teeth as he spoke.

"You were so harsh to me because you were scared. You were scared of how you felt, of how I felt and what was going to happen once we got home and the stress and pressure of the others was no longer there, forcing us to acknowledge our feelings." She answered softly, trying to meet his blue eyes that just refused to grant her wish. They stared at the sand, his focus unwavering.

"You sure about that?"

"Yes."

"And how can you be so sure of what's going on in my head? You a mind reader or somethin'?"

"No James. I know because I was feeling the exact same way. Insecure, unsure, scared and relieved." She fought the urge to reach out to him again. To feel the heat of his skin under her fingers. No matter how much her hand tried to go, against her will, toward him, she fought it.

"Were you now freckles? And here I was thinking you were weeping for the Doc." He said, the bitterness thick in his drawl, his insecurities more evident than ever before.

"Wanna know why I did it? Why I really did it?" Kate knew she was going to have to put herself out there now. She would make him apologise for his harsh comments later, right now she understood that he was closed off because she gave him a reason to be. He was angry and rightfully so. It was her turn to apologise and be truthful with him for once.

Sawyer didn't answer her, he just looked up into her eyes. Finally seeing the blue pools staring at her she relaxed slightly. His eyes were so expressive. She could see his plea in them. His plea that she tell him that he was wrong.

"I did it because, yes I thought you were going to die.." His eyes fell from hers but not before she saw the hurt in them. "I thought I was going to die too James." She finished quickly and had to hold back the smile when his eyes rose to meet hers in a flash. "I thought we were going to die there and the only thing I could think of was telling you that I was lying when I said I loved you. That my last moments with you were tainted by my fear. I did it because... because... I love you James." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she told him for the first time. A screamed confession to someone else, albeit in his presence, was not telling him.

"I did it because I wanted to have known your touch, the touch of the man I loved, before I died. I wanted to leave this world with the memory of us. I wanted you to know that I loved you. That I chose you. And because I was just so damn tired of fighting it." She let her hand find his cheek, and rub gently at the stubble. The little prickles against her fingers making her smile gently.

"Did you really?"

"What?" She asked confused. She wasn't sure which part of her confession he was asking about.

"Did you really choose me?" Sawyer looked into her eyes and she could still see pleading in his. But now Kate didn't know what he was begging her for.

"Of course I did. I do chose you James." She answered confused. She was certain that her choice had been obvious.

"Then why did you leave? Why did you run off after Jack-ass without even telling me? I was worried to death about you." His voice was hard again. She hadn't realised how much her actions would hurt him. Scare him.

Kate lowered her gaze from him for the first time since he allowed her the pleasure of his eyes. This is what she needed to apologise for. This was her betrayal. "Because I felt guilty. And because I... because I'd been rejected." She whispered. Sawyer remained silent and Kate was forced to look back up at him and explain further. "I asked him to risk his life to save yours James. I asked him to. I used his feelings toward me to manipulate him because I was terrified of losing you. I forced him into it and just left him behind. Then everything happened in the jungle and I thought you didn't want me. The guilt just intensified."

Sawyer looked away, guilt flashing in his own eyes. He'd never meant to hurt her. He really hadn't. But he'd been on the beach as she talked to the doc, and he'd seen her face when she was forced to leave him behind. He'd convinced himself that she was only pitying him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered so softly that at first she thought she'd imagined it.

"I'm sorry too." She whispered back surprising him. He was sure she would make a joke, he never thought she'd...

"Clean slate?" he asked as his hand drifted over her hip around to her back.

Kate smiled then, letting her own hand reach around to the back of his neck.

"Just like on Little house." She teased with a smile he couldn't help return. At the sight of his dimples, the ones that made her stomach jump, and the feel of his hand against her back pulling her closer to him, Kate couldn't help but pull him toward her and kiss him.

Kate kissed him with every ounce of love she felt for him, with everything she had. As corny as it sounded in her own head, it felt right in her heart. And as Sawyer rolled them so he was above her, his body pressing into hers, she couldn't deny how good he made her feel. Or how deeply she'd fallen for him.

They pulled apart some time later, and dressed. The sun was up, the day beginning, and the sound of the camp bursting to life was filling the tent. Kate smiled as she watched Sawyer button his shirt.

"What?" He asked with a smirk. Kate just shook her head at him and leant in to kiss him softly. "What are we going to tell the brady bunch out there?"

"Nothing. We don't owe anyone an explanation and they're bound to figure it out on their own." She smiled as she walked out of the tent and headed over to Charlie and Claire, leaving a smiling Sawyer behind in his tent.

He emerged sometime later and couldn't help but notice all the curious stares he and Kate received as they went about their usual business. All the eyes that were trying to figure out what Kate was doing in his tent that morning. What was going on between the two. They did nothing all day to arouse any suspicion in the rest of the castaways, but the simple act of Kate exiting his tent so early in the morning was enough. Was enough to leave everyone quietly questioning and curious. Sawyer ignored the gazes, choosing instead to plant himself under his favourite tree and pass the day in his favourite... well second favourite way.

Kate could feel eyes on her as she walked over to where Sawyer was reading against the tree. But by the time she reached him every eye on the island was focused on her. They watched as she answered their unasked questions. Sitting down beside him, being drawn into his side, into his arms. Leaning her head against his shoulder and receiving a kiss to the temple for the effort. Her hand rested on his thigh and her eyes drifted over the rolling waves. Not a word was spoken, but suddenly the heat of the castaways intense gazes was gone. An understanding was reached to the sound of the crashing waves.

She had made her choice.

Kate was his. And James was hers.

The End.


End file.
